i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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