Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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