I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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