If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
