Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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