I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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