He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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