can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Houston, we have a blender
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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