Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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