How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
