They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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