just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
