DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
