mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
