dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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