Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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