Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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