So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
