I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
