I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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