How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
