Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
