I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize