you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Houston, we have a blender
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
