Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she told me i tasted like america
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
