I don't think brook has ever known best
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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