woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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