I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
