Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
