apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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