so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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