I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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