Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
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remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
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This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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