I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
