Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
