my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
this will be a night to untag.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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