I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
