Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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