Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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