so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
