You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
