Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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