I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
