yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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