so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
