Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
