ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
