i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
