Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize