Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
