There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
