Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
what is it with giant penises always finding me
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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