You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She announced her abortion via fbk
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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