This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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