I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize