I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize