I just saw a hot homeless man
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
