my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
