It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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