I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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