I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
