thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
