I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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