it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
