I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize