Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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